Anger and Hatred

I’m so tired of feeling anger and hatred for people. It’s just exhausting. People have hurt me and I’ve held onto so much for so long, I just can’t do it anymore.

My current predictment should only emphasis how I shouldn’t let people into my life, and if I’ve ever learned anything, this is the time to hold onto grudges.

Nope.

Not my cup of tea anymore.

It’s not worth it.

If people choose to hurt me, they are only hurting themselves. I’m a pretty awesome person. I’m flawed, not perfect, but progressive, and so much of what was wrong was solved with my surgery, but I’m also not going to be walked on.

I’ve realized, if people don’t want what I have to offer, they don’t have to stick around and I’m done forcing myself onto people who choose to walk away.

Now, if you choose to be in my world, I’m all in. Just to prepare you 🙂

But seriously, today is 7 weeks out of my surgery. I’m still healing in many ways, but I know I just can’t hate people anymore. With that, I can’t have hatey core people. Life can be pretty eh, especially if you don’t have a strong core around you.

I watched this past week’s sermon from Pastor Mike and emphasised what I was already feeling. I need to relieve toxic people from my world, and surround myself with people who love me, who have a great outlook on life, and need…want me in their lives.

I’ve taken some time with the thought that I need to have a place in the lives of people who have a place for me, but this thought ventured into a more indepth train ride. I have to make sure that place is for me and that the place they have for me isn’t just some extra open place.

I think we all forget that there is such a thing as just allowing people in our lives because we have the space. Well, you can have a lot of the wrong people in that space.

Your core should never be people that just fit there. They have to make you better for yourself and for themselves. You can’t sharpen an ax with wood. They can’t all be on your boat.

Sometimes we feed our lives with people for a temporary fix, assuming they were exactly what we needed. It may have felt great for a time, but then we realized we let go of people we wish we hadn’t and can’t find a way to rid the extra spacers.

I finally figured out what was going on with me and I know that I can do better for others. I also realize that everyone can make a mistake and regret is a giant butt.

Life wasn’t greener on the other side.

I have regretted so much in my life. I have done things and hurt people. Like I said, I’m not perfect, but I know when someone needs my forgiveness as I’ve always hoped for forgiveness from others.

I guess you won’t know until you ask.

Ask. Ask for forgiveness from those you’ve wronged.

Let go. Let go of the hate and anger that can only hold you back.

Forgive. Forgive those who ask for it.

We can live a lighter life if we just take a minute and concentrate on the good stuff, the things that matter, and work the rest around us to make a better life.

BUT… Always a BUT…

Support your core. Support those that need you. Ask for support. Ask for help.

Sometimes we need to be a little stronger to hold others up. It only solidifies your relationship when you can help each other when it’s needed.

Just ask…

Man, what a year it has been. How differently I see the world and feel about things today is surreal. It's only getting better.