I had a lot of doubt today and then I voiced a dream I had to my Grandparents about always wanting their home to stay in the family. If I ever had the means, I would expand the home the way they wanted. It has been my dream for many years.
For a moment, someone detered me from that dream, but being with my family reminded me how many dreams I have let go over the years; trying to find something that fit in the life someone else wanted.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
After expressing my dream, I felt amazing inside. I never want them to leave this world, but I needed them to know how much their efforts were seen. They have worked so hard for others and they have always wanted to manage their home with the Lord ahead of the household allowing for their amazing hearts to shine bright.
I came into my space and something kept telling me to watch the new Cinderella on Prime Video. I’ve always had a broken view of relationships, so much of that view was because of the world’s perception of relationships. I’ve been hurt many times over and even when I felt so sure about someone, I was hurt again.
Today, I had a few things weighing on me and my avoidance of this movie came to an end. My assumptions that another Cinderella was going to be taken by a Prince and they were going to live happily ever.
And then Rhythm Nation started.
And then You Gotta Be went on.
More held me to this movie and surprised me.
In a small but significant moment, the next scene played.
Am I wrong for thinkin’ out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for sayin’ that I choose another way?
I ain’t tryin’ to do what everybody else doin’
Just ’cause everybody doin’ what they all do
If one thing I know, I’ll fall, but I’ll grow
I’m walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home.Am I Wrong?
There was a feeling I couldn’t shake. There was something about this scene and then I couldn’t get how they interpreted this song out of my head.
Am I trippin’, am I, for having a vision?
My prediction, I’ma be on top of the world
Don’t look back, always do what you decide
Don’t let them control your life
That’s just how I feel ooh
Fight for yours and don’t let go
Don’t let them compare you, no
Don’t worry, you’re not alone
That’s just how I feel (That’s just how I feel)
That’s just how I feelOriginal Artist – Ninco & Vinz
I took to the song and then the lyrics and while I love the original verison of this song and the messiness of the original movie, I found the audio and it took on a whole new meaning.
And as I continue to watch this movie, each scene hits differently.
Let’s get loud, let’s get loud
Turn the music up to hear that sound
Let’s get loud, let’s get loud
Ain’t nobody gotta tell ya what you gotta do
Like dah da dahOriginal Artist – Jennifer Lopez
In high school, it was the first time I changed my dream to be a writer. I loved the music class I was in and the assignments that let us create a new sound to the scene in the movie we were given. I loved editing and creating my own movies and putting songs to them. I even used those skills for an assignment in English class. We were given a book and our final project was up to us. I created a soundtrack, page by page, for the book. Two of my loves melted into one.
I never realized I could do something with it. I told someone one day what I wanted to do and they said I had to study being a music producer to get into that kind of life or don’t bother.
And if you can't sing like someone like you...you really have to work on that...
Man, people are harsh.
I started looking for something more practical like working on cars. Of course, women aren’t in that field. More harsh people at every turn, and I let them beat down all my dreams.
I tried to find things in other people’s dreams or judgement. And then I realized…it’s my dream. I’m willing to sacrifice. I’ve shown that over the years, but I’m ready to do me and I’m open and ready.
And I can see her now and then
The one I know that I could be, yeah
I see her laughin’, ’cause she knew all along in her head
So when the light is hard to see
She’s telling me
If it’s a million to oneMillion to One by Camilia Cabello
I’m gonna be that one and
If it’s a shot in the dark
I’m gonna be the sun
And I just can’t afford to be wrong
Even when I’m afraid
You’re gonna know my name
Is this today’s message for me? For others? Is this what I needed to ease my mind and the things naggy at me? Is this what you needed to hear today?
Remember, not every one can be on your boat.