The World Looks Different

I was in surgery on Wednesday, August 25, 2021. I didn’t realize how different and dark life was before. It all just looks different. With no effort, I had an amazing day yesterday. I enjoyed the people in my life and the most I had to worry about was being in pain and worn out.

I’m feeling the aftermath of yesterday’s great day, but I’m okay. I’m happy overall and able to get out of bed. One week ago, my life changed.

Today, I’m dealing with the heartbreak of a lost relationship. I’m not sure why it’s hit me so hard in this moment, but it’s hurting. Physical pain doesn’t compete.

Maybe it’s because I’m doing so well, I want to share it with everyone that’s ever known me, and still, my progress is not enough for people to love me again, but that goes back to worrying about what other people think.

This brings me full circle to enjoying my win. I’m doing so well. I can’t believe how blessed I am with such an amazing group around me, supporting me, cheering for me.

Currently, my pain and comfort are the biggest pitfalls of daily life. I want to do everything and go everywhere, but the big bright world wants me to heal. I don’t like taking the heavy meds. I’ve managed to cut the use down to half of what the doctors thought I should be at in a day.

I know, brain surgery and trying to not use pain meds sounds like a glutton for punishment, but I really don’t like the way they make me feel.

The dizziness of my life before has eased, making it easier to walk without holding onto anything. The clarity of my world is coming back to me and I can manage a sunny day without sunglasses. I am capable of writing a sentence again. My speech is back to normal and the words are coming more freely.

My health is getting overall better following brain surgery. I’m healing with the amazement of my family who could see how I was before and love where I’m heading now.

To get through the emotional turmoil inside, I’m doing my best to find the joy in every day. Surreal how easy it’s become. I can’t even believe what happened over the last few years and how I responded.

While I’ve continued to reflect on my life, I realized how truly blessed I am and every day is just getting better. People are better. Life is better. My world is better. I pray it continues to grow and make me smile.

I pray for love, compassion, peace, strength, life, and joy!

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